Do First, Speak Last (Read Time: 3 min.)

What drives you to success?

What drove much of my early success in life was a deep desire to prove people wrong. Growing up, I had many people who looked at my circumstances and didn't believe in me. They didn't believe that someone who was pregnant at 18 could finish college... So I graduated with a bachelor's degree by 20. They didn't believe that someone with a child could complete an MBA... So I had my MBA by 22. They thought it a joke that someone could be 22, a young mother and be a college professor... So I did that too. They didn't think that a woman who couldn't get pregnant for 4 years could ever have a second child... So I got pregnant and had two more miracle babies. I was driven by the deep desire to prove people wrong, especially those closest to me who were supposed to be supportive but, in many ways, were anything but.

It seems like a good enough reason, doesn't it? But the fuse of ambition, when striving to prove people wrong, is being lit by the wrong lighter... and that ember never lasts.

When your motivation is driven by the desire to make someone (or a group of people) eat their words, make no mistake about it: this is a revenge issue, not an achievement cause. While it may seem like serious motivation for a while, what will eventually happen is 2 things:
1) You'll get to the goal and
2) You'll still feel the emptiness and pain of people not believing in you.

To work so hard for so long at something because of what anyone else said is madness. Why? Because by doing so, you've made their opinion of you MORE important than your opinion of yourself.

I've learned, over time, to shift out of that mentality. While it rears its' ugly head every now and again, there are three things that get me very clear on why I do ALL that I do:

1) I don't tell people what I plan to do anymore; I SHOW them.
Napolean Hill has a great quote, "Tell the world what you plan to do but first show them." That's it! It's not about what you say; it's about what you do. Don't waste time trying to convince people of where you're going. They'll figure it out as soon as you actually get there and, trust me, the sweet victory is always in the arriving at that point because, once there, you don't have to say a word; the experience speaks volumes!

2) I remind myself that my life is about me.
No one is ever going to care about my successes or failures as much as me. In fact, no one could ever want more for me in my life than I want for myself so making my goals and objectives about anyone else BUT me is absolutely craziness. I make my goals about me and no one else. That keeps me in the creative mindframe and not the competitive one.

3) Victories happen daily. No one has to "see" my success for me to celebrate it. Victories happen daily. I AM WHO I SAY I AM. It's not other people's recognitions that make me a winner. I make me a winner.

Winning feels good; being a winner feels even better. If you leave the victories of your life up to someone else's approval (and your vindication), you'll forever be a hamster on the wheel called "approval-seeking." Get off the wheel forever.

Do first, speak last...

What Does Transformation Really Require? (Read Time: 2 min.)

I hear so many people theorize and theologize about transformation to the point where, for many, transformation comes across as some sort of ascension into the unreal. That sort of theorizing will not help you get through the daily grind of what it means to transform.

Transformation is growth and growth can be painful. There are moments on the journey to extraordinary success where you feel stunted, stuck, stagnant or some wierd combination of all three. What do you do when that happens?

Here are three things you CAN do when change feels like its too little, too much and, at the same time, too hard:

1) Remind yourself that nothing stays the same. Everything is a constant state of change. Seasons pass, people age, jobs change, lives change, everything changes. Whatever is going on right now will pass. Before you know it, it'll be a memory. Why linger on the negative of your change when the positive that's resulting is SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL?

2) Feel what you feel. Whether it's fear, sadness, pain, anger, frustration, or disappointment, allow yourself to feel it. Only by allowing it to be will you give those feelings the permission to move through you. The more you fight those feelings, the tighter you cling to them. The best way to let go is to allow them to move through you and, once out, refill your mind with thoughts of love.

3) Breathe. When we feel tension, distress, or worry, the first thing we stop doing is breathing. Breath is the key to life; it's at the heart of peace. When you're in a worry episode or when you feel like you're not as far along as you'd like to be, stop and breathe. Take 12 deep breaths and, with each exhalation, let it all go...

There are many roads to extraordinary success. Rather than talking about it, I want you to BE about it. Do the daily work. It WILL pay off:)

A Full Time Love Affair (Read Time: 3 min.)

You're having an affair.

Maybe you call it something different because it feels, looks and seems different. Perhaps you rationalize your indulgence in it because, to you, "It is what it is" but make no mistake. You are involveed in a full blow, 24/7, 365 day a year love affair and the object of your affection is in your arms even now: your dream.

The journey of extraordinary success is a full time love affair with the vision of the life you are now creating. All the hours of work, months of planning, years of executing, all of it has been dedicated to the fulfillment of your dreams.

At times, it has asked for all of you and you've willingly said yes. At every turn of the road, when you had the option to let go, you hung on for dear life. You've done all you can, been all you can be and you're still doing it now. You are filled with the ecstasy of pursuing your heart's desire and here are three things, in the midst of passionate pursuit, you must remember:

1) Put in the effort necessary to secure the results you seek without complaining about it.
2) Rome wasn't built in a day; your secret weapon is patience.
3) No dream will require you to jeopardize the life you have to get the life you want. If this dream is costing you that, find a new one.