Releasing the Need to Be Right (Read Time: 2 min.)

I like to be right. No, let me back that up. I LOVE to be right. It’s one of my greatest strengths because I’m thorough in what I do, whether it’s fact checking, blog writing, or customer service. It’s also one of my greatest weaknesses because when you thrive on being right, you don’t like to EVER be wrong… and being wrong is a great opportunity to learn.

What I’m learning is how to be open and willing to be wrong. Instead of jumping to answer questions or relying on myself for all the answers, I now ask questions to no avail. I listen to different viewpoints. Maybe I take the advice, maybe I don’t but I come at them with a different sense of curiosity and openness that, naturally, I’m not too inclined to produce.

It takes work to be open and willing to change but the work is worth it. Some of the greatest ideas you’re ever going to have are going to come from SOMEBODY ELSE and if you’re not open, willing and ready to learn, you’ll miss out on gems of information and wisdom that could truly be your tipping point in the long run.

At the end of the day, you can be right or you can be kind. Kindness may not be what you want to do but it is always what you can CHOOSE to do. Extraordinarily successful people understand the power of staffing their weaknesses, not pretending that they don’t exist.

Release the need to be right. You’ll thank me in the morning:)

Other People's Opinions (Read Time: 3 min.)

Terry Cole Whitaker wrote an amazing book called What You Think of Me is None of My Business. It's a very powerful point that must be considered in full.

What YOU think of ME is NONE of my business.

On the journey of extraordinary success, there are going to be LOTS of opinions. You're going to get unasked-for advice. You're going to receive both positive and negative feedback. You're even going to get negative feedback masquerading as "suggestions" (you know what I'm talking about).

At the end of the day, the extraordinarily successful know how to deal with these elements of the process.

There are 5 things you need to know when dealing with "other people's opinions":
#1- If the opinion is good, don't take it personally.
That person could be having a fabulous day and they're telling you how amazing you are is simply a result of how they are now, in this moment, choosing to view the world.
#2- If the opinion is bad, don't take it personally.
A person who tells you (either in a nice, subtle way or a brash, rude way) what you're doing isn't up to snuff is someone who's coming from a negative place. Maybe this person had a bad day. Maybe this person is having a bad decade. That's not your problem. Understand that whatever this person is saying is about them, not you.
#3- Take criticism with an open mind.
Even when people are totally wrong in their criticism, there's an opportunity to learn and grow that you will COMPLETELY MISS if you take what they're saying personally and use their words as ammunition to go into victim mode. When someone has taken the time to observe you enough to make a comment about you, this is YOUR opportunity to learn from it, whether that was their intention or not.
#4- Trust yourself.
If someone told you you were a purple walrus, would you believe them? Of course not! Why? Because you know you're a human being. You have to cultivate the same level of faith and trust in what you're doing as you already have in the fact that you're a human being. When you get to the place of knowing that you know that you know that what you are doing is right for you, people can talk. They can bicker, fight, fume; they can throw a tantrum if they want but YOUR mind hasn't changed. When you trust yourself, you do what's right for you always.
#5- Go by what people do and not what people say.
I have to quote Wallace D. Wattles on this point. In The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace D. Wattles says the following: "Do not boast or brag of your success, or talk about it unnecessarily; true faith is never boastful. Wherever you find a boastful person, you find one who is secretly doubtful and afraid." It's easy to get sucked into the hype of people who talk a really good game, who boast of their major successes, all the millions they're making, and what not but don't allow the boasting of others to make you feel like less than who you are. Remember that "Wherever you find a boastful person, you find one who is secretly doubtful and afraid." Just because someone tells you they have a superstar who has everything they could possibly want in life doesn't make it so. Go by what people do, not by what they say.

I spend a great deal of time talking to clients and teaching this exact point but it bares being repeated over and over again:

What 'they' think of YOU is NONE of your business.

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Stop, Retreat, Ask, & Say... (Read Time: 2 min.)

Ever have an "Oh no you didn't!" moment? You know what I mean. Someone says something that hits a sore spot in your psyche and, as harmless as it might have been coming out of his or her mouth, it's hit a key target spot within you that makes you want to run to defend and attack. It's called "taking things personally" and far too many of us take things personally ALL the time.

If you've taken things personally at any point in the last fourteen days, here's some good news:
You can end the "taking things personally" habit right now.

How?

Here's a simple 4 step process you can use when you feel a defensive response building up in you:
1) Stop
2) Retreat to think (you can physically or mentally check out for a minute or two)
3) Ask and answer one question, "What's the gift in this?"
4) Say 10 times "I am willing to change" (out loud or quietly)

At this point, you can now return to the conversation or consider your options of response from a place of peace and objectivity. To do anything else is foolish. The words you speak have power. Talk too soon and you might say things you can't ever take back.

Remember the words of Maya Angelou:

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."