Lashing out is so easy. Someone does or says something that hits that big red button on your heart and, before you know it, the rage is seething, the hurt is throbbing, and the desire to strike back, to defend what's left of your ego is front and center...
But does it get the desired results? Yes and no.
When we lash out, we instantly feel a sense of superiority. "I told him!" we say to ourselves. "She deserved that" we justify but who walks away from a tongue lashing truly hurting? The person who used their tongue.
When your hurt transforms into anger that reveals itself as vengeance, the only thing you can achieve is a regretful moment. There's emotional violence in lashing out that you can't ever take back. Your words are more powerful than your fists. A physical bruise will eventually heal but the spiritual and emotional wounds of physical and verbal bruising never go away.
And you don't have to speak it for the venom to spread. A look can injure. A tension filled sigh can violate. The withdrawal of interaction (dead silence, a blank stare) can destroy.
It's too easy to lash out, yes but it's too hard to live with the consequences. When you lash out at anyone else, guess who you're really clobbering? You...
Let's stop the emotional violence. Let's send roses to the people who act in ways we don't necessarily like. The daggers, when we send them, always have a way of returning to sender.
The next time you feel your blood boiling, fists clenching, and heart pounding, step back, walk away, and ask yourself one question "Do I want to spread the emotional violence or heal it?"
That answer will tell you exactly what to do next.