Are You Tired of Hiding?

I've fallen off the exercise/fitness bandwagon. I'm a fitness junkie, a former personal trainer, and I've fallen off the wagon. It's been two weeks since I've worked out and about a month since my nutrition has been somewhat decent and I feel YUCKY! I always know the moment my body is out of proportion. The second I go into sweatpants rather than mini-skirts, flowy, pregnancy looking tops rather than tight knit tees, I know something's up.

I feel like I'm hiding... from my own body. So now I've spent the last couple of days saying affirmations, reading "You Can Heal Your Life" and I know all the mental patterns behind weight: protection of the self, security, blah blah blah blah blah and the question keeps coming up for me, "Why am I not back on track?"

Frustrating is the word! FRUSTRATING!!!!! But... There's a lesson here and I'm determined to find it, learn it and teach it so here we go...

Hiding is easy. Most people do it. We hide behind our degrees, our families, our careers, our weight, our 'niceness' but hiding never equated to joy. When you hide, you lose the opportunity to be seen. Well, you don't lose it; you reject it.

Hiding serves one purpose: it allows you to be less than who you are.

How do you hide?

It may not be weight. It may not be social status. It may not be your kids. But if you feel like you aren't 100% of who you are, you're hiding in some place, in some way in your life.

What I want to do is not point to the hiding but open up to it. There's nothing wrong with it! As kids, we play hide-and-go-seek. Why? Because the finding is SO MUCH FUN!

So now I'm finding myself, asking the questions, looking within, and I see that this, for me, is not about extra weight on my hips but extra pressure on my shoulders and what I'm doing right now to deal with the weight (besides developing new workout and nutrition regimens) is giving myself permission to hide. I give myself permission to go within so I can re-discover and come out... in divine right timing.

I know myself. I'll get back into prime shape. I know I will. It's not happening as fast as I would like but it's all happening right on time. In the meantime, I'm going to love myself right where I am. My heart beats, my eyes see and my feet move. The rest of it is on its way!