One of the most annoying things I sometimes find myself doing is what I call the "what if" mentality. You've been there... You have a situation occur, you take time to make a decision. Even as you make the decision, you're still up in the air, you decide and then you spend at least two weeks going over in your mind all the "what ifs."
What if I'd done this?
What if I'd not done that?
What if I waited?
Would it have turned down differently if...
Oy vey! The list could go on forever.
The "what if" mentality will drive you crazy if you let it. I'm learning how to let go of the "what ifs" and say "Woulda/shoulda/coulda", so what? What's done is done. Now what?
I love John Maxwell because he says there's a difference between problem spotting and problem solving. When you're stuck in the "what if" mentality, you're problem spotting, i.e. you're identifying all the things that are wrong and you're not looking for any of the opportunities that exist right now (let alone actively pursuing them). Problem solving is where you take ownership and responsibility but you do not judge or blame yourself. You say, "Ok, I made a decision, didn't come out quite like I wanted. What's my next move?"
It isn't always easy to make that transition but I have a "what if" catcher in my mind. Anytime I start to drift to past experiences or present circumstances and start to think things like "I should've done this or that", I stop myself and say "But what am I going to do now to get to where I want to go?" and no matter how much my mind wants to return to the blame/shame/guilt game of "what if", I keep coming back to the same question, "Now what?'
If you stay with the "Now what?" and leave the "what if" behind, you'll find that you're much more positive, much more productive, and, before long, you're out of whatever situation you got yourself into.
Cut out the "what if" mentality. The question doesn't serve and there never is an answer to what could've been. Either way, it's not what happened and you'll never get a chance to live that exact moment again.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
- This is the Moment That Counts
- No One Has to Understand
- Get It Right This Time!
- Are You the Ant or the Giant?
- What's Your Interior Monologue?
- Gratitude is Built for ALL Things
- "What if" you didn't say 'what if'?
- A Verbal Kick in the Pants
- They Don't Get It...
- What to Do About "Fair Weather" Friends
- Are You Tired of Hiding?
- Learning What Your Best Is
- The Power to Attain What You Want
- ▼ July (13)