Monday, August 31, 2009

Other People's Opinions (Read Time: 3 min.)

Terry Cole Whitaker wrote an amazing book called What You Think of Me is None of My Business. It's a very powerful point that must be considered in full.

What YOU think of ME is NONE of my business.

On the journey of extraordinary success, there are going to be LOTS of opinions. You're going to get unasked-for advice. You're going to receive both positive and negative feedback. You're even going to get negative feedback masquerading as "suggestions" (you know what I'm talking about).

At the end of the day, the extraordinarily successful know how to deal with these elements of the process.
There are 5 things you need to know when dealing with "other people's opinions":
#1- If the opinion is good, don't take it personally.
That person could be having a fabulous day and they're telling you how amazing you are is simply a result of how they are now, in this moment, choosing to view the world.
#2- If the opinion is bad, don't take it personally.
A person who tells you (either in a nice, subtle way or a brash, rude way) what you're doing isn't up to snuff is someone who's coming from a negative place. Maybe this person had a bad day. Maybe this person is having a bad decade. That's not your problem. Understand that whatever this person is saying is about them, not you.
#3- Take criticism with an open mind.
Even when people are totally wrong in their criticism, there's an opportunity to learn and grow that you will COMPLETELY MISS if you take what they're saying personally and use their words as ammunition to go into victim mode. When someone has taken the time to observe you enough to make a comment about you, this is YOUR opportunity to learn from it, whether that was their intention or not.
#4- Trust yourself.
If someone told you you were a purple walrus, would you believe them? Of course not! Why? Because you know you're a human being. You have to cultivate the same level of faith and trust in what you're doing as you already have in the fact that you're a human being. When you get to the place of knowing that you know that you know that what you are doing is right for you, people can talk. They can bicker, fight, fume; they can throw a tantrum if they want but YOUR mind hasn't changed. When you trust yourself, you do what's right for you always.
#5- Go by what people do and not what people say.
I have to quote Wallace D. Wattles on this point. In The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace D. Wattles says the following: "Do not boast or brag of your success, or talk about it unnecessarily; true faith is never boastful. Wherever you find a boastful person, you find one who is secretly doubtful and afraid." It's easy to get sucked into the hype of people who talk a really good game, who boast of their major successes, all the millions they're making, and what not but don't allow the boasting of others to make you feel like less than who you are. Remember that "Wherever you find a boastful person, you find one who is secretly doubtful and afraid." Just because someone tells you they have a superstar who has everything they could possibly want in life doesn't make it so. Go by what people do, not by what they say.
I spend a great deal of time talking to clients and teaching this exact point but it bares being repeated over and over again:
What 'they' think of YOU is NONE of your business.
Have you signed up for The Power of a Comeback?
Don't miss this amazing teleseminar on Tuesday, September 8, 2009

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