Monday, August 24, 2009

Stop, Retreat, Ask, & Say... (Read Time: 2 min.)

Ever have an "Oh no you didn't!" moment? You know what I mean. Someone says something that hits a sore spot in your psyche and, as harmless as it might have been coming out of his or her mouth, it's hit a key target spot within you that makes you want to run to defend and attack. It's called "taking things personally" and far too many of us take things personally ALL the time.

If you've taken things personally at any point in the last fourteen days, here's some good news:
You can end the "taking things personally" habit right now.


Here's a simple 4 step process you can use when you feel a defensive response building up in you:
1) Stop
2) Retreat to think (you can physically or mentally check out for a minute or two)
3) Ask and answer one question, "What's the gift in this?"
4) Say 10 times "I am willing to change" (out loud or quietly)

At this point, you can now return to the conversation or consider your options of response from a place of peace and objectivity. To do anything else is foolish. The words you speak have power. Talk too soon and you might say things you can't ever take back.

Remember the words of Maya Angelou:
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

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